HOW TO WRITE BUSINESS LETTERS THAT GET RESULTS By Robert W. Bly A simple formula lets
you cut through jargon and messy language to create straightforward writing that works. A recent TV commercial informed viewers that the U.S. Post Office handles 300 million pieces of mail every day. That's a lot of let-ters. And
letters are an important part of communicating with your customers, co-workers, and colleagues. But how many letters actually get their messages across and moti-vate the reader? Surprisingly few. In direct-mail marketing for
ex-ample, a two percent response rate is exceptionally high. So a manu-facturer mailing 1,000 sales letters expects that fewer than 20 people will respond to the pitch. If high-powered letters written by ad-agency copywriters
produce such a limited response, you can seewhy letters written by busy business executives (who are not pro-fessional writers) may not always accomplish their objectives.Failure to get to the point, technical jargon, pompous
language,misreading the reader --these are the poor stylistic habits thatcause others to ignore the letters we send. Part of the problem isthat many managers and support staff don't know how to write per-suasively. There is a
solution, stated as a formula first discov-ered by advertising writers, and it's called "AIDA." AIDA stands for Attention, Interest, Demand, and Action --a sequence of psychological reactions that happen in the mind of
the reader as he is sold on your idea. Briefly, here's how it works.First, the letter gets the reader's attention with a hard-hittinglead paragraph that goes straight to the point or offers an elementof intrigue.Then, the letter
hooks the reader's interest. The hook is often aclear statement of the reader's problems, needs, or wants. For ex-ample, if you are writing to a customer who received damaged goods,acknowledge the problem and then offer a solution.
Next, create demand. Your letter is an offer of something --a service,a product, goodwill, an agreement, a contract, a compromise, a con-sultation. Tell the reader how he or she will benefit from your offering. That creates a
demand for your product. Finally, call for action. Ask for the order, the signature, the donation, the assign-ment.What follows are actual examples of how each of these steps has beenused in business letters.ATTENTION. Getting the
reader's attention is a tough job. If your letter is boring, pompous, or says nothing of interest, you'll losethe reader. Fast!One attention-getting technique used by successful writers is to open with an intriguing question or
statement --a "teaser" that grabsthe reader's attention and compels him to read on. Here's an openingteaser from a letter written by a freelance public-relations writerto the head of a large PR firm:Is freelance a dirty
word to you?Even if you feel negatively about freelancers, you can't help but be curious about what follows. And what follows is a convincing argument to hire the writer:It really shouldn't be, because in public relations, with its
crisis-lull-crisis rhythm, really good freelancers can save you moneyand headaches. Use them when you need them. When you don't, they don't cost you a cent.Use me. I am a public-relations specialist with more than 20
years'experience in all phases of the profession. MY SERVICES ARE AVAIL-ABLE TO YOU ON A FREELANCE BASIS....Another freelance writer succeeded with a more straightforwardapproach:Dear Mr. Mann:Congratulations on your new business.
May you have great successand pleasure from it.I offer my services as a freelance public relations writer spec-ializing in medical and technical subjects....Here, the writer gets attention by opening with a subject that has a
built-in appeal to the reader--namely, the reader's own business.Most of us like to read about ourselves. And just about everybody would react favorably to the good wishes expressed in the second sentence.INTEREST. Once you get the
reader's attention, you've got to pro-vide a "hook" to create real interest in your subject and keep himreading. This hook is a promise --a promise to solve problems, answerquestions, or satisfy needs. The hook is often
written in a two-paragraph format: The first paragraph is a clear statement of the reader's needs, while the second shows how the writer can satisfythese needs. Here's the hook from a letter written by a job seeker to the vice
president of one of the television networks.To stay ahead, you need aggressive people --willing to take chances.People who are confident, flexible, dedicated. People who want to learn--who are not afraid to ask questions.I am one
of those people --one of the people you should have on yourstaff. Let me prove it. Start by reading my resume. It shows I can take any challenge and succeed.What better way to hold someone's interest than to promise to solve his
problems for him? A principal rule of persuasive writing is: Remember that the readerisn't interested in you. The reader is interested in the reader. And because we want to hear about ourselves, the following letter was
particularly effective in gaining and holding my interest : As you may already know, we have been doing some work for people whohave the same last name as you do. Finally, after months of work, mynew book, THE AMAZING STORY OF THE
BLYS IN AMERICA, is ready forprinting and you are in it!The Bly name is very rare and our research has shown that less than two one-thousandths of one percent of the people in America sharethe Bly name....DESIRE. Get attention.
Hook the reader's interest. Then create the desire to buy what you're selling.This is the step where many businesspeople falter. Their corporatebackgrounds condition them to write business letters in "corpora-tese," so
they fill paragraphs with pompous phrases, jargon, cliches,and windy sentences. Here's a real life example from a major investment firm: All of the bonds in the above-described account having been heretofore disposed of, we are
this day terminating same. We accordinglyenclose herein a check in the amount of $22,000, same being your share realized therein, as per statement attached. Notwithstanding the distribution to you of the described amount, you shall
remain liable for your proportionate share....Don't write to impress --write to express. State the facts, the feat-ures, the benefits of your offer in plain, simple English. Give the reader reasons why he or she should buy your
product, give you the job, sign the contract, or approve the budget. Create a desire for what you're offering. Here's how the manager in charge of manufac-turing persuaded the president to sign a purchase order for a $20,000
machine.I've enclosed a copy of my report, which includes an executive summary.As you can see, even at the low levels of production we've exper-ienced recently, the T-1000 Automatic Wire-Wrap Machine can cut production time by 15
percent. At this rate, the machine will payfor itself within 14 months --including its purchase price plus the cost of training operators. We've already discussed the employees' resistance to automation inthe plant. As you know,
we've held discussion groups on this sub-ject over the past three months. And, an informal survey shows that80 percent of our technicians dislike manual wire-wrap and wouldwelcome automation in that area.Benefits are spelled out.
Anxieties are eliminated. The reader isgiven the reasons why the company should buy a T-1000. (And the president signed the order.)ACTION. If you've carried AIDA this far, you've gained attention,created interest, and turned that
interest into desire. The readerwants what you're selling, or at least has been persuaded to see your point of view. Now comes the last step --asking for action.If you're selling consulting services, ask for a contract. If
youwant an interview, ask for it. If you're writing a fund-raising letter, include a reply envelope and ask for a donation. In short, if you want your letter to get results, you have to ask for them.Here's a letter from a customer
who purchased a defective can ofspray paint. Instead of just complaining or venting anger, she explains the problem and asks for a response:Recently, I purchased a can of your Permaspray spray paint. But when I tried using it, the
nozzle broke off. I cannot reattach thisnozzle, and the can, though full, will have to be thrown away.I am sure your product is generally well-packaged; my can was prob-ably a one-in-a-million defect. Would you please send a
replacementcan of white Permaspray? I would greatly appreciate it.An exchange of business letters is usually an action-reaction situation. To move things along, determine the action you want your letter to generate and tell the
reader about it. Formulas have their limitations, and you can't force-fit every let-ter or memo into the AIDA framework. Short interoffice memos, forexample, seldom require this degree of persuasiveness. But when you're faced with
more sophisticated writing tasks --a memo to moti-vate the sales force, a mailer to bring in orders, a letter to collect bad debts --AIDA can help. Get attention. Hook the reader's interest. Create a desire. Ask for action. And
your letters willget better results.Browser Fixed
